spring brought joy, summer remembers

Hi. Well, I'm checking in here. A lot has been happening with us.

I never got around to sharing that I was pregnant. I kinda wanted to tell people more personally, rather than make a blog announcement, but here is the announcement I was working on, but never quite got posted:

May 22, 2008
Hello, It's been a long while. I suppose I have lost my heart for blogging in a way, with spring (equals lots going on with garden, camp prep, chickens (chicks growing in the house - 50 of them). Anyway, the big news that I wanted to share is that there is a little one growing in me. I am pregnant and we heard our second child's heartbeat yesterday when we visited our midwife. The heartbeat was picked up right away on the doppler because I am already 15 weeks along. We are so thrilled and thankful to be on the journey again to having another child.

June 13, 2008
So, we were due mid-November and looking forward to cozying up in the late fall and winter while getting to know the new member in our family.
But our little one's life has already ended, here on earth. On Fri. May 23rd I miscarried our 15 week baby at home. The doctor in Princeton stablized me and then I took an ambulance (no lights) to Penticton.

From an email sent probably the week of May 26th:
"I got back from Penticon hospital Sun. (May 25) and am pretty low energy because I lost a lot of blood. The doctor said if I take it easy for 2 months I will probably be feeling my old self again.
We are grieving yet are so thankful for the amount of joy this baby has brought to our family during my pregnancy. Sarah loved counting all the people in our family including our baby, as she'd point to my stomach.

So, I am resting a lot. My Mom has been up for over a week and has been a super big help with cleaning and baking etc."

June 13, 2008
Latest physical things are a few short headaches and some dizziness. I usually get these when I'm too tired, even prior to this sad event.
We are working on a scrapbook - Sarah and I - to remember the joy brought to our family during this pregnancy.

People from our church are bringing us meals every other night and today, well, read below.

I am steadily increasing in strength, for which I am very grateful. I contrast that with the fact that I thought I might die, when we arrived at the Princeton hospital, directly after loosing our baby. Our baby's body is in for testing to see if they can determine any reason for the miscarriage from that, like abnormal chromosomes. I was in my 2nd trimester and miscarriages in the 2nd trimester are fairly rare, so this was a shock to us and others. More details may be coming in the future...Andy and I will confer. Now I will move on to a little story/reflection from today.

June 13, 2008
Thankful today. The pastor's wife, Shawn, and daughter, Bethany came today and cleaned for 2.5 hrs. Bathrooms, kitchen, vacuuming, even the fridge, which had been bothering me.

Tonight as we were getting ready for bed Sarah was arranging her dolls in the cradle we just moved upstairs from being situated downstairs for some time. She helped Isabelle go pee on the training toliet we still have kicking around because I'm hoping to locate the missing piece and give it to the thrift store (it leaks, so I'm not saving it or passing it on to Aimee). So Isabelle got tucked in with a purple satin blanket and Elsie got propped up at the end of the cradle because, 'she's still having her snack.' Isabelle was wearing a newborn shirt my Mom had sent up for our anticipated November baby. Then the dolls got eye covers too. I sleep with an eye cover, for darkness, so Sarah's dolls all get them too. Then she gave them each a toy to sleep with. Isabelle got two toys. The flying squirrel was found and given to Elsie. 'See,' Sarah says, 'weee,' while making the squirrel fly. And then, "I can even wipe my face," and she makes the arms (it's a pupet) move the hands to wipe the squirrel's face. I was sitting on the edge of the bed watching her the whole time and I said, "You know what Sarah?" "What?" "If we have another baby I know that you are going to be a wonderful sister." "Why?" "Because you are so gentle and kind to your dolls and you like to show them things that are interesting." "If we have another baby I could bring this talking bunny and show how it can go like this," she says as she holds the bunny up by the ears with one hand. I got tears in my eyes. The conversation probably went a little bit differently, but that is the gist of it. We are hopeful and resting in Jesus care.

A prayer item is for us as parents, because since my Mom left, we've been dealing with outbursts of crying and sometimes screaming when Sarah doesn't get her way with a few things. We had a conflict and resolution time today which involved all three of us and for that time I am thankful. We've had lots of practical life situations to talk about obeying and apologies and how throats become sore after screaming. I know a few are praying re: this already, so thanks.

Another 'Sarah note' is that she has become more sensitive to how other's are feeling. She always says, "I hope you have a good rest" as I'm laying down and she asks how my rest was after.
One day she decided to come give me a hug before she went downstairs after I apologized for saying her name too loudly. I said I was sorry and she paused and then said, 'I'll give you a hug.' Then she came over and we hugged. It was beautiful.

Thanks for listening. We know a lot of people are praying for us and if God has been leading you to do this, thank you for being used by Him. We truly are in Jesus' hands, just like our little one is, but in such a different way it seems.

To see pics from my Mom's visit to go www.consideringlilies.blogspot.com/

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Computer advice?
Inexplicably, a month or so ago, we've not been able to open any webpages with Firefox. We had to load I.Explorer again, so we can use the internet, but now I can't post pics on my blogs with this set up. Any one have any ideas? thanks.