extremely sticky

Big day today...yes and no. The phrase "I feel special" went through my head when I was bent over Sarah as she lay on the change table staring into my eyes shrugging her shoulders and moving her head and body side to side, almost smiling. It just looked like she was saying 'i feel special.'

Concentrated on relaxing today cause I did too much yesterday. Had two naps and went biking at the VRC. It's absolutely pouring here again. I like it. I want to repair our umbrella so Sarah and I can go for a walk again.

Andy and I, when discussing dinner, discovered that we are both tired of eating. We're both craving more selection. We were going to visit his grandpa Martens this evening, so I said we should fast and "should we go now?" No. We ended up ordering pizza using a $10 off coupon we have from Telus. They left the cheese off my primo veggie and added the sundried tomatoes after it came out of the oven. At home I added tofu.
Spent some time this morning reading and writing and was reminded of the truth that the most important part of who I am is based on being a dearly loved child of God. Areas for growth stood out clearly to me as well this morning as I reflected on things thought of during the last few days.

Sarah sucked on her fist more today. Oh, last night Andy went to bed at 10 pm which is just when Sarah woke up...FOR TWO MORE HOURS. I was so tired. She had slept most of the day so I wasn't totally surprised. But boy was she ever bushy-tailed. Finally, around midnight, she yawned and I told her, "now that's what I like to see," and we went to bed. We slept till around 5:30 am.

Made chocolate oatmeal cookies today. The batter was extremely sticky. I had to deviate from the recipe a bit cause we had no margerine - just oil etc. They taste excellent though.

Reading an intriguing book called "Behind the War on Terror" which talks about how since before the cold war the US has made decisions and interacted with countries to suit their own interests and work towards 'global domination.' The author quotes these declassified documents that are very revealing.

Sarah is staring at me as I write. She's lying open bum on the change table and making happy sounds, smiling at me and moving slowly, drooling and licking her lips.

Here's the thesis of the book, "My thesis, ultimately, is that this record of Western policy in teh Middle East, specifically in the Persian Gulf, is unambiguous evidence of a system of surrogate imperialism that has been quite deliverately developed by the Western powers in order to protect and secure their regional interests which have remained fundamentally the same since the colonial era. The significant difference between the new stage of surrogate imperialism and the colonial system from which the former has edeveloped is the more sophisticated and subtle structure of nation-states co-opted, maniputlated and to a high degree effectively controlled by Anglo-American power. When that system of control shows signs of collapsing - for instance, by the rise of indigenous nationalism - the necessity of Western miliary intervention is invoked to protect that system, and brutal military force is utilized to impose Western will."
I wondered why any country would want their fingertips or a firm grasp on the world's resources thereby overlooking other country's needs - and it hit me that it's the root of selfishness and living in a fallen world. It all makes sense. There are no nice guys...just Christ guys :).

How can I explain the feeling of walking around the house with my babe in my arm as she tries to steady her bobbing head with her developing neck muscles and looks as alert as ever. How precious. Thank you God.