more from last week

I had to make a difficult decision last week...twice...or I let myself make it twice. Ok, I'll explain. I was asked to be in a dance for one of the songs in our Easter production. I absoultely love dancing as an expression of worship so was totally into this idea. I got the phone call one morning and thought about it all day till Andy came home and we could talk. I, had, pretty much, by the end of the day thought it wasn't the best for me to be involved this year because of the time commitment it would entail - practices and 3 productions mist family gatherings...and I'd have to leave one faimly gathering early. And my primary priority is being Sarah's mom right now...I could already feel even my thoughts drifting from her as I entertained the idea of becoming involved. So, that evening I called the people I had to say no to and after I got of the phone joined Andy and Sarah in the living room. I let out a big breath, smiled, as I sat on the footstool and said with exuburance, "Now I can dance for you Sarah!" I got kind of animated and started tossing butt wipes (little flannel squares) in the air and somehow started saying "Easter" really enthusiastically at the same time. Sarah really liked this and was chuckling...so of course, the show went on :) I'd throw one wipe in the air. Catch it...say, "Ok, ok, watch this...I've got another one," and throw another.
Now, I had to make the decision again when I was called the next morning. There had been a misunderstanding. I had phoned two people and said I couldn't do it cause of the scheduling and one of the people thought it was because I felt I couldn't learn the piece in time and the other person called me to tell me more information, if that would help my decision. It wasn't that big of a dance...the practices would be short etc. Oh, so another day, kind of entertaining the idea. One thing that had helped me the previous day was that Andy said that there would probably be other opportunities in my life like this one. I wasn't so sure cause we may move away to a small community that usually doesn't do stuff like this in their churches. Anyway, getting the second phone call made me wonder if this was 'another opportunity' but in the same form (hope that makes sense). Anyway, I ended up saying no again and I am ok with that, I do believe. I'm 97% ok with the decision. I guess I do doubt and wonder if there will be other opportunities but that's what trusting is about right? Oh yes.